Imagine that you are at the scene of a traumatic accident. Several people are injured with different degrees of injuries. While some have life-threatening injuries, others only have minor scratches. Yet, you are amazed to see that the paramedics are handing out one Band-aid to each person. You instantly rush to the scene, in order to urge the paramedics to start life-saving treatments on those most critically injured. Yet, they argue that they are treating everyone fairly because all are getting the exact same treatment.
In this scenario, you would argue that those who are most severely injured are not getting fair treatment, many people start working with a divorce mediator in Orlando saying that they only want what’s fair for everyone. This is an important starting point; but it is equally important to define the term fair. Now, if you are not successful when working with a divorce mediator in Orlando, then a judge will make an impartial decision splitting all property 50/50 in most cases. The judge does not know you, your children or your ex, so they split everything down the middle. That is kind of like the paramedics giving everyone a Band-aid.
Instead of entering divorce mediation thinking that you only want what is fair, try entering it with the thought that fair is giving everyone what they need to be successful. Thankfully, the world is made up of many different types of people because it would certainly be boring if we were all just alike.
When thinking of dividing things up fairly so everyone gets what they need to be successful, there are several key factors that need to be kept in mind. First, remember to consider that you and your ex may have very different goals and motivations, so what makes one spouse successful may not matter to the other one. The same goes for your children. Asking your ex about what choices they would make and using active listening skills when they answer often helps you understand where they see their life is going next. Then, decisions can be made so that things can be divided fairly allowing everyone to be successful.
It is equally important to make sure that you understand what your children need to be successful. Then, co-parenting agreements can be based on making sure the child’s needs are fairly met.
While the process of dividing things fairly and allowing everyone to be successful may be a new concept to you, it often opens up a whole new way of thinking. Working with a divorce mediator can help you and your spouse find what success looks like to both of you so that assets can be divided fairly. Contact Do Divorce Better to start the process today. They can be reached at 407-274-9861. Heather A. Oller is qualified to help you and your ex discover success during divorce mediation.
Heather Oller is a licensed mental health professional with a Masters degree in counseling and psychology. She is an expert therapist at Orlando Thrive Therapy, Counseling & Conflict Resolution and is a Florida certified family court mediator. She is also a qualified Parent Coordinator. She specializes in conflict resolution and alternative dispute resolution.Schedule Your Consultation